View From A Sidewalk
by Dragen Eyez
Summary: Relena with blackmail is a dangerous thing, especially when she learns Duo's secret. Drugs, irrationality, decisions. 1x2 to start.


500th Reviewer Contest Story for Ryuske (I think that's right… I REALLY hope so… My e-mail account erased all of my e-mails to her and I'm bad with names…. Grr) Anyway, enjoy, R&R.

Dedication: Ryuske of course

Disclaimer: Don't own, never will, still need a new computer.

"View From the Sidewalk"

I was on a business trip, walking down the street with my hands shoved deep into my suit pockets. To my left, there was an endless sea of grey buildings. On my right, I saw a green park. I didn't veer off the street-side sidewalk onto the cheerful park pathway. It was just too pointless. I kept my gaze to grey.

A rich tenor laughter rippled through the air, full and exuberant. Once again, I looked towards the park. That was a familiar old sound. I thought I would never hear it again. At first, I blamed my imagination, a rare occurrence because I just wasn't that imaginative these days, but then I saw shimmering chestnut—a long braid of it that danced in the sun.

I had to stop and stare at that sight, but all too soon, he slowed, and instead of turning towards me, he grinned and ran towards someone. Arms held each other close as a kiss so sweet it melded within the park on that beautiful blue-skied day, warm with a perfect breeze that always set that chestnut braid aflutter just a bit.

I wished it was storming.

Ooooooooooo

Relena watched the last video with disgust. All she ever seemed to see was insipid romance; it made spots dance in front of her eyes. It was a simple enough scene; two men, once Japanese and no more than five foot, five inches waltzed close to an American of five feet, nine inches. Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell.

Heero, Relena could talk about for hours on end, and sometimes did. He was graceful and smart; serious and strong; loyal and protective; he was perfectly handsome. He was everything Relena wanted—exactly what she wanted. Relena wanted Heero Yuy more than anything.

Duo, on the other hand, had earned the title of Relena's most despised and hated being, for he had what Relena most desired: Heero. Relena always got what she wanted though. She made sure of that.

So for months, she waited and watched the discs put together for her by members of the secret service she had bought and bargained for through blackmail. Relena was not stupid; she listened and gathered her followers carefully. They were loyal; they had to be. She made sure of that. Blackmail was her greatest weapon because everyone had a secret—everyone.

Duo's secret was just taking time to find out, especially since Relena was busy convincing the world she was right about everything. People loved to believe the seemingly innocent young woman. She enhanced this image by having many powerful people on her side. Not just politicians, but war heroes and actors too; names people looked up to unquestioningly.

So she waited, coiled in her hate, knowing that some day she would have Heero's love and Duo's demise. She hated the wait though, and so many moments of Heero loving that disgusting thing made her ill. The devotion and attention all centred around the braided buffoon sickened her the most.

But two weeks later, Relena's venom halted, and her smiled seemed more joyous. She had found the missing key. It surprised her, but oh, how she revelled in it. The first note she had sent to the idiot had made her smile in sheer anticipation. It was short and simple, addressed to Duo with no return address or stamp. One of her men delivered it for her.

All it said was, "I know your secret."

She would wait one week before sending the next note. She wanted the fear to start sinking in, the panic to start to rise. It would ebb just before the sent the next note. The fear would grow fast and dizzy him. Relena had every intention of making Duo reveal himself; if she told Heero, he could pick up on her spying. She knew how to be careful though.

The second note was a bit longer, but blunt and to the point. "If you don't want Heero to find out your secret, leave him now."

Slowly, the notes revealed Duo's secret to himself, slowly and maddeningly. They slowly drove Duo crazy, pushing and prying. He suddenly knew he had three choices: leave, have his secrets revealed by the note-writer, or tell Heero himself.

That was after weeks of trying to track the blackmailer to no avail. Duo ruled out the first two choices immediately; those would make Heero leave him, and he couldn't lost Heero. He loved Heero more than he could say. However, he also knew his lover would not take the news well.

After three months of agonising over the weekly letters, Heero became worried about Duo. The American simply wasn't acting like himself. So he confronted Duo brusquely and bluntly; it was just how he was. "Duo, what's going on lately?"

Duo looked at Heero across the small kitchen table. He knew Heero wasn't going to drop the issue with a vague answer. It was time. "We need to talk after dinner, okay?"

Heero nodded and the pair ate Japanese with chopsticks quietly. They had fallen to trading off making dinner every other night, allowing for Heero's Japanese tastes and Duo's American tastes. Dishes were done, and the kitchen was cleaned by Duo; he always cleaned when Heero cooked. Eventually, they returned to the table, sitting across from each other once more. Duo sat studying the grain of the polished pine table, never looking up.

"There's something I need to tell you." He was quiet; his voice low as he twirled his braid around and around his fingers. This was his secret; something he knew that Heero wouldn't approve of. Duo also knew that it had begun to get out of hand—partially due to the stress from the blackmail. The letters had been the final nudge to send him to this point.

Heero grunted. He was still quiet, and Duo had learned that a grunt from him was essentially the equivalent of okay. In this case, it was probably closer to "continue," Duo thought as he wasted time.

"The war was a really hard time for all of us, you know?" Duo looked up briefly, but the table was so much more interesting. "I came from a really shitty background too, which, despite my jovial manner, was hard."

When Duo fell silent for too long, doing nothing but twirling his braid around and around his fingers, Heero finally prompted him. "And?"

The American sighed. "And I did some stuff I shouldn't have, but it began to stick fast. So it lasted beyond the war. It was never something that had me worried, but recently, I realised it was just…" Here, Duo held out his hands and shrugged helplessly. "It's just… time to come clean, I guess."

Then Duo looked up, and told Heero what Relena had discovered: his secret.

Heero's eyes snapped shut on Duo's heart like an alligator snaps on its prey. As blankness ensued, the American felt his heart break piece by delicate piece that couldn't fit together again like a jigsaw puzzle. It took Heero a full two minutes before he looked away from Duo in his daze. Then, he stood up and called Quatre. Cold and sick, the American only half-hear the conversation. Something about a group meeting, for the five pilots had decided to informally adopt each other as family. The meeting would obviously be about Duo, and each pilot would be there.

Duo had no choice about it. He had just revealed his greatest secret and had it thrown in his face and immediately revealed to the entire group. There had been no talking or discussion, just pain and a lack of anything from Heero. The American climbed into bed with Heero still on the phone with the Arabian, but he lay there awake for a long time. Long enough to hear the click of a light in the guest bedroom. Heero had just made himself a guest in his own home.

A week and a silent shuttle ride later on last minute seats far apart from each other, Duo and Heero were picked up by one of Quatre's drivers. The driver was cordial and polite; he soon brought them to Quatre's home in Europe, located in old Italy. A servant led them to a room in which the other three ex-pilots were gathered on expensive, extremely comfortable leather furniture. Everyone seemed grim, but only Duo and Heero knew what the problem really was. For the first time, Duo didn't want to see his comrades, barring the time they had walked in on him and Heero one New Year's Eve. Normally, he would have teased Trowa and Quatre about their relationship. They claimed to be nothing more than good friends, but Duo knew it was just a front. The two were lovers and partners; however, Quatre's line of work made it not only awkward but difficult to explain that the lover of his life was a man.

Duo took a seat on an empty chair by Wufei; Heero took one somewhere vaguely across from him. The American felt ill. One little thing and Heero was off of his side. He felt so alone. Slowly, everyone settled and refreshments were brought out by the gentle host. Then Quatre cleared his throat. "Heero called for this meeting to discuss some sort of problem of Duo's." He looked at the violet-eyed man. "Would you like to elaborate?"

Duo found himself becoming angry quickly. Heero had betrayed him. Had forced him to share his secret with everyone. He wasn't ready for it, not yet. He was tight-lipped and only managed the barest shake of his head.

Quatre sat back, surprised. He knew Duo to be boisterous and loquacious. He wasn't sure what to make of this new image Duo was presenting the group with, but he was far more uneasy than he had been moments ago. It was then he picked up on the tension between Heero and Duo. The Japanese would barely glance in the American's direction, let alone look at him, and Duo was silently seething. Usually, when Duo was angry, he shouted and was blunt and honest. Trouble in paradise was never a good sign, especially considering how well Heero and Duo normally got on.

"Ah, well then, Heero, would you please elaborate on what exactly is going on?" The other two pilots were quiet, and Quatre carefully maintained a polite, but neutral demeanour.

Heero nodded abruptly before he began speaking, bluntly and shortly. It simply wasn't in his nature to be kind of ease into a situation. "Since before the first war, Duo had been using heroine."

Wufei choked on his tea, setting the cup down sharply; emotions flickering over his face wildly. Trowa remained cool and impassive as Duo seemed to draw in to himself in a sulking huddle. Quatre stared at Duo with wide, blue eyes, questioning him. "Is that… true?" All of them knew what the effects of drugs were; what they did to one's body.

And they all knew it was. It hurt; it had always been there but no one had seen. A man of action, Wufei quickly gave life to thought. "Well, we obviously need to do something. We are men of honour and integrity. We cannot abide by this… this…"

"Treachery? Problem? Illness? Drug addict?" Duo supplied darkly.

"You need drug rehab." Heero told his partner bluntly. "As you said, you are a drug addict."

Here, Duo's fist shot down, hitting the table with a resounding thud. "No! I'm _not_ going to one of those."

Quatre jumped; since the war had ended, he had become more sensitive to sudden movements. The past would never leave any of them, affecting them all in different ways. However, it was Heero who spoke first. "It doesn't matter if you want to go or not. You're going either way."

Wufei asked a question that Heero seemed to have overlooked in his impatience to stop Duo from using drugs. "How often do you use heroine? How much each time?"

Duo looked at Quatre's coffee table, defeated. "Too much."

Only Quatre was close enough to hear Duo's faint reply. He was also close enough to see that Duo was beginning to come off of his high. In the current situation, the American would break under the pressure. "For tonight, why don't we go to bed and think about everything so that we don't make any rash decisions." Quatre called for three servants before addressing the visitors once more. "Duo, Wufei, Heero, you will be shown to your rooms. I myself am going to retire."

Trowa mumbled a good night and followed after Quatre. Duo was quick to follow the first servant. Heero began to follow, but an Arabian servant caught his attention and led him another way. Immediately, Heero's temper flared, but he did little but follow the servant. Quatre was acting with a bit too much gall for the Japanese's tastes, though he understood the reasoning. He still couldn't believe his boyfriend—loveable, happy, sweet Duo—was a druggy.

In the morning, Heero wandered down the stairs towards the dining room, where he had been informed breakfast was. He was the first ex-pilot to enter, but he had always been an early riser, though Wufei tended to awaken before him. The Chinese, Heero knew, would be meditating for a short time. The man was religious, Heero never understood how Wufei could maintain his beliefs after the wars though.

However, Heero didn't mind the lonely start to his morning; it gave him a chance to think without blocking out the noise Duo tended to bring with him. He was at odds with himself and Duo. Himself because he couldn't see Duo's problem, and duo for the years of lying. One thing he did feel was absolutely necessary was that Duo needed rehabilitation. He was, after all, a drug addict.

He had finished eating a Japanese breakfast one of Quatre's cooks had prepared for him and was sipping at a cup of hot green tea when a pair of voices filtered down to him.

The voices held heat, and one was raised slightly, but he was not entirely sure who the pair was. Heero couldn't always hear all of what they were saying; it sounded as if they had stopped near the bottom of the stairs. From what the Japanese could make out, the pair had disagreed over the best course for Duo's future. However, it seemed that the higher-pitched voice felt that the deeper voice didn't support him enough or take his feelings into account. By the end, Heero was vaguely reminded of arguments he had had with Duo throwing similar things at him. _They were always ridiculous_, and Heero dismissed them quickly. Now, he figured his arguments stemmed at least in part due to Duo's drug abuse.

Half an hour later, a cheerful Quatre came into the dining room with Wufei, chatting about differences in their religions. Ten minutes later, Trowa joined the table as well, still so silent he startled Heero, though he'd never admit it. Duo, he was told, would not be joining the group until that evening, after the other four ex-pilots had conferred about the situation. Quatre forced the others to agree. He felt it would be too much for Duo to handle at the moment.

Oooooo

"No! We cannot force Duo like that!" Quatre's voice had raised considerably. "We cannot completely ignore Duo's feelings about this."

"Face it, Quatre." Trowa suddenly added, cool and calm. "Heero and Wufei are right. He's a drug addict. When _you_ talked to him, he admitted more than that. He needs to seek treatment."

"He'd get the help he really needs to stop using drugs and handle those changes in his life." Wufei added.

"None of you are the least bit willing to give Duo even the slightest of chances to work it out without a rehab program!" Quatre finally burst out, startling all of them.

However, soon after that, Wufei changed his stance. The majority was on Quatre and Duo's side. Quatre settled it there. Heero stood up and went to his room. He grabbed his duffel bag and walked out of the mansion and didn't look back. The entire thing angered him too much, and he was still too angry at duo for lying to him for so long to truly consider his partner's feelings.

At first, Duo wrote him e-mails constantly, but with weeks of nothing in return, the number of e-mails decreased. After two years, the e-mails stopped. Heero hadn't read a single one. He had methodically deleted them all. In fact, he had carefully avoided all contact with the other ex-pilots. When he had left Quatre's, he had felt completely betrayed by them. He did not take betrayal lightly.

Oooooo

Relena had been gleeful when she had first learned the news of Heero leaving Quatre's mansion alone. She had become even happier when Duo never seemed to leave. The foreign minister—she had long since acclimated from vice-foreign minister—knew it was because of her that such a happy occurrence had come about. She figured she would wait a month and then start throwing herself into Heero's arms.

She loved it when she won.

Which was why she was so very good at cheating.

However, Heero never let her throw herself into his arms. He remained hostile and cold towards Relena. The Japanese could never quite place why, but he disliked being around the woman. Something just felt off about her. The fact that he was gay did not aid her at all.

Slowly, she realized that even if she did blackmail Heero that it wouldn't matter. He just wasn't going to be hers. As much as she hated that fact, she was warmed by the thought that she had ripped Duo's and Heero's relationship apart. She had hurt Duo in the cruellest way she could come up with. It made her feel warm late at night in her lonely bed.

Ooooooo

It had been over four years since I had seen him. I still loved him, despite everything, despite my own actions. I even still believe the blond was wrong, but in the end, he was the one who won. He had won in so many ways, though he had parted with Trowa well over three years ago. He had simply won it all.

He was the one kissing Duo. He was the one who held him close as they both laughed down there in the park. And I was on the grey sidewalk, and I would always be there, without the sunshine glinting on chestnut.

The only thing I could do was start walking and take the first left turn I could and immerse myself in the grey buildings around me.


End file.
